When egos collide, ONLY ONE MEGATRON WILL BE LEFT STANDING!

..The Action-Packed Ending!

    When last we saw our anti-heroes, the Megatrons had made their way to the Valley of Statues in order to find out WHICH was The Greatest Megatron of all time. Generation 1 Megatron and Transmetal Megatron had both met horrible fates before reaching the competition, while Beast Wars Megatron and Beast Machines Megatron were disqualified early on. Now, only Generation 2 Megatron and Transmetal 2 Megatron remain...

The Last Combatants.

    As the Megatrons prepared for the final competition, the Cobra Commanders gathered to discuss earlier events.

Original Cobra Commander: Man! I had $100.00 riding on Transmetal Megatron, and he didn't even show up! If you can't depend on a giant purple dinosaur, who can you depend on?

Battlesuit Cobra Commander: I SSSSEEE THAT FOOLISSSSH RE-ISSSSUE IS NO LONGER AMONG USSSSSS. APPARENTLY, THE POISSSSONED COFFEE WORKED! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hooded Cobra Commander RE-ISSUE: What are you talking about?! I'm right here! What are you trying to say!? I'm standing in front of you!

Original Cobra Commander: Hooded Cobra Commander went to the bathroom while you were adjusting your armor behind the statue. He'll be right back.

Battlesuit Cobra Commander: OH. THEY LOOOK SSSSSSO SSSSSIMILAR, IT ISSSSS HARD TO TELL SSSSOME TIMESSSS. SSAAAY, HOW ABOUT THOSSSSE JETSSSSS? I THINK THEY'LL GO ALL THE WAY THISSSSSS YEAR.

Original Cobra Commander: My money is on the Bengals. They've got a great passing game. Plus, I'm friends with Tony the Tiger, and he says they're great.

Hooded Cobra Commander: ::Walking in:: I can hear your petty whining from all the way over there. Be silent! Let the final judgment begin!

Generation 2 Megatron: I am here! It is time to finish this!

Transmetal 2 Megatron: Now that we are down to the final two Megatrons, things should get VERY interesting.

Yet Another Mysterious Voice: Not so fast!

Original Cobra Commander: DESTRO! And he's driving a G.I. Joe Mobat!

Destro: Yes, Cobra Commander - It is I, Destro! I had to steal this powerful tank from the Joes in order to bring THIS to the competition!

Destro: Behold the ULTIMATE MEGATRON! Released only in limited numbers, these rare wonders have been rumored to go for THOUSANDS on eBay. Not only does this Megatron feature a rapid-fire missile cannon, he is also a state-of-the-art STEALTH BOMBER. He is the PINNACLE of all Transformers.

Battlesuit Cobra Commander: ISSSN'T HE JUSSST A RE-PACKAGED DREADWINGGGG?

ATB Megatron: Well, there may be SOME similarities between myself and Dreadwing, but you can clearly see that our colors are different...

Hooded Cobra Commander: How unoriginal (and strangely familiar). Why don't you come out of the box and show us your abilities in person?

ATB Megatron: And ruin my resale value on eBay? I DON'T THINK SO! I get ten times more for being unopened than the others do.

Destro:Then how are you going to pay the 50 bucks you promised me for bringing you here?

Original Cobra Commander: Heh-heh. As we learned early-on, Destro doesn't accept American Express.

ATB Megatron: Ah.. I'm sure one of the other toys will spot me the money in order to resolve this. Diablo? Pikachu? Cobra Commander?

...

Destro:Son of a b$#&h!!! Let's see how much your auction value goes up when I drop you in a %$#^ing river!

ATB Megatron: NOOOOOoooooo!

Original Cobra Commander: I remember the first time Destro dropped me in a river. Who'd have thought he'd be so offended when I paid him in Cobra Bucks? Disney uses Disney Dollars and no one gets ticked. ::sigh::

The Final Battle!

Generation 2 Megatron: Enough! We came here to find out who is the Greatest Megatron of ALL TIME, not to discuss getting ripped off on eBay!

Transmetal 2 Megatron: Very well. Witness...

Transmetal 2 Megatron: ..the size difference. Though we are almost the same height, I am STILL TALLER.

Generation 2 Megatron: By an insignifiant amount, dragon. Besides..

Generation 2 Megatron: You literally have your HEAD UP YOUR ASS. I mean, who designs a Transformer like that? You are a running gag that disgraces Megatrons everywhere.

Transmetal 2 Megatron: At least my knees bend, you stiff-legged FREAK!

Generation 2 Megatron: NO MORE WORDS! EAT BURNING LASERS, BUTT-HEAD!

Scorch the Beanie Baby: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Transmetal 2 Megatron: You hit Scorch instead of me! NOOOOOOOOO!!!! I WILL AVENGE YOU, MY BROTHER! FEEL MY FLAMES, YOU BLIND PILE OF JUNK!!!!

Destro: Why does everyone always have to mess with me? Do they somehow think people in iron masks are FRIENDLY?! F&%$ing Leonardo DiCaprio had to make that movie The Man In The Iron Mask, and ever since people have been giving me $&#t. I think I'm going to take this Mobat and run over his dog.. eh.. what's that noise..? ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

Generation 2 Megatron: Now that's the kind of accuracy I remember. Shees. How'd we ever hit Galvatron?

Transmetal 2 Megatron: Like I said - Karma. OK, let's just put this to a vote. This kind of accuracy is embarrassing.

Original Cobra Commander: Well, we've been debating this for a while. The Cobra Commander vote seems split down the middle...

Generation 2 Megatron: COME ON! You know, you bunch of inbred idiots never could make a decent decision to save your lives. Why the Baroness never killed you  in your sleep and took over COBRA is a mystery to me.

Battlesuit Cobra Commander: BLASSSSPHEMY!

Hooded Cobra Commander RE-ISSUE: You arrogant fool! ARROGANT FOOL!

Hooded Cobra Commander: I think I speak for all of the Cobra Commanders when I say OUR VOTE GOES FOR TRANSMETAL 2 MEGATRON!

Generation 2 Megatron: Very well. Pikachu, it is your turn to vote. Currently, the tally stands at 1 for Transmetal 2 Megatron, and 2 undecided. How do you vote?

Pikachu: Pika Pika!

Original Cobra Commander: What?

Pikachu: Pika-CHHHHuuuuuuu!

Hooded Cobra Commander: Who's brilliant idea was it to include a judge that can only say its name?

Generation 2 Megatron: I have a solution. Pikachu, if you want to vote for me, say "Pika" once. If you want to vote for Transmetal 2 Megatron, say your name twice. Vote now.

Pikachu: Pika.......P

Hooded Cobra Commander RE-ISSUE: What!? What!?

Hooded Cobra Commander: There's something you don't see every day.

Diablo: What has happened to the Pikachu snack?!?!?!

Generation 2 Megatron: It is fine.. and contained inside this energon cube. It seemed logical that an energy rodent would be absorbed into an empty energon cube if exposed to one, and that's what happened. If you LIKE the Pika-cube, perhaps we can come to an arrangement...

Transmetal 2 Megatron: I protest! This can't be legal!

Diablo: As a judge, I rule it FAIR. And I vote for Generation 2 Megatron.

Original Cobra Commander: Ah. Well, then, we'd like to change our vote to Generation 2...

Generation 2 Megatron: I think not. Don't you get it yet? Everyone you support, every plan you have, everything you TOUCH FAILS. I offended you so that you'd vote for my enemy ON PURPOSE. Why? Because  then he was sure to lose. You are all pathetic. Get out of my sight before I boil you all down for lubricant.

Hooded Cobra Commander: You could have just said, "No thank you." How rude!

The End.

    And so the Battle of the Megatrons ended, and Generation 2 Megatron was declared The Greatest Megatron of all time. His reign lasted a long time, until Hasbro decided to release another Transformer line and a new Megatron was created. But that is another story...

Amazon.com shopping:
 

Transformers: The Movie (DVD). Watch the movie that changed everything! Sure, it ultimately brought down the Transformers line, but now that you're older and the bitterness is gone, you can REALLY enjoy it! Relive the moment you heard your first cartoon character swear! Witness the actual DEATH of a Transformer! Also available in VHS.

Transformers: The Movie SOUNDTRACK. This CD will SAVE YOUR LIFE - I KID YOU NOT. Some day, you'll be in a situation where you don't think you can win; where your spirit is broken and you just don't have the drive to keep going. That's when you'll pop this CD into the player and punch up track 4: DARE by Stan Bush. Once you here that song, NOTHING WILL BE ABLE TO STOP YOU. You'll be so pumped that not even a thousand Unicrons can slow you down. YOU CAN WIN IF YOU DARE!

G.I. Joe: The Movie. In the same way that Transformers: The Movie ultimately brought down that toy line, G.I. Joe: The Movie brought down the Real American Hero. Still, this DVD is a lot of fun, especially the scene in which Cobra Commander is transformed into a.. well, we wouldn't want to spoil it for you. The DVD version also includes the G.I. Joe public service announcements which made the line "..and knowing is half the battle!" famous. A VHS version is also on the market, but lacks the public service announcements and other goodies on the DVD.

Transformers: The Return of Optimus Prime. These are the two cartoon episodes which some claim are the best of the series. When Optimus Prime's body is stolen and then infected with deadly alien spores, NO ONE is safe! See the return of a legend.. IF YOU DARE. Buy the Three Volume Set if you're interested in collecting all of the episodes - it saves time.
 

Search Amazon.com's video department for ALL of the old transforms episodes and other relevant material!
 

Search Amazon.com's video department for ALL of the old G.I. Joe episodes and other relevant material!